


A Little Dysfunction Is Good For The Soul

by ahvengering



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Bondage, Explicit Sexual Content, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Praise Kink, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Roleplay, Spanking, slight crack, so much kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-02-22 23:25:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13177428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahvengering/pseuds/ahvengering
Summary: Phil learns to help Clint with personal problems, not just work-related ones, and Clint learns to trust Phil to do that. Tony has a praise kink, and Steve is no one’s blushing virgin.





	1. Chapter 1

“Clint. You can’t avoid me forever.”

Phil stood in the shadows of the doorway to their shared apartment, staring intently at the dark corner behind their bed. A muffled voice rose from the space.

“Watch me.”

Phil sighed, crossing the room to sit on the edge of the bed. Clint’s figure was huddled between the bed and the wall, wearing threadbare jeans and a black hoodie that Phil was fairly sure he’d stolen from Natasha, judging by its’ badly stretched state. “It’s not something you should worry about, Clint. It happens to every man.”

Clint snorted. “Sure. I bet Steve loses his wood all the time.”

“I’ll be sure to ask Tony the next time I see him,” Phil said dryly. “I’m sure he’d be happy to tell me about his sex life.”

“Don’t. For the love of god. Tony would never let me forget it.”

After a few moments of silence, Phil reached out hesitantly, setting a hand on Clint’s shoulder. “You know that I love you no matter what.”

“Yeah, I know,” Clint mumbled. “I love you too.”

……………

It only started to be a problem on the fourth night in a row, when Little Clint once again decided that nothing was more boring than Little Phil.

“Clint, come on, open the door!” Phil raised his voice to be heard over the persistent thrum of the shower. Clint’s reply was too muffled for him to hear.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay. Really.” Phil pushed a frustrated hand through his thinning hair, leaning against the doorframe. “Just come out of there so we can talk. I know you’re not really showering.”

The door abruptly swung open and Phil caught himself just before he fell through it. Clint’s head poked out, face still red with embarrassment. “How do you know? Maybe I was showering.”

“Clint, it’s one in the morning.”

The archer pushed out a frustrated breath and tried to shut the door, unsuccessful when Phil shoved his foot in the crack. “Listen to me! You can’t just run away from all your problems-”

“Been there, heard that, not interested,” Clint said tensely, staring at his husband through narrowed eyes. “Besides, running away worked for a good long while before I met you.”

“Erectile dysfunction happens in approximately 3 million American males per year-”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Clint hissed, pushing harder on the door as Phil mourned the impending breakage of his proximal and distal bones.

“No, of course not,” he said simply, reaching out and covering Clint’s warm hand where it rested on the doorframe. “What I’m saying is that you have a lot of options here, if this is a permanent problem.”

Clint didn’t respond, glaring stubbornly at a picture on the opposite wall. Phil sighed and pulled his hand away. “Just think about it, okay? We can make you an appointment with SHIELD medical as soon as tomorrow morning.”

The archer growled and slammed the door shut as Phil pulled his foot away just in time. He smiled at the door, knowing that Clint wasn’t as angry as he seemed. The man was difficult at his best, but Phil wouldn’t have it any other way.

Wandering to the kitchen, Phil decided to make a visit to someone who might just understand what he was talking about.

…………………

“Phil!” Steve greeted when he opened the door and saw the agent standing on the other side. “Come on in. I just made a pot of tea if you’d like some.”

“That sounds wonderful, Captain, but I only have a few minutes,” Phil said regretfully, stepping in and crossing his hands behind his back.

Steve paused, arching an eyebrow. “Official business?”

“No, but serious.” Phil hesitated, suddenly unsure that this plan was such a good idea. “Steve, I don’t know-”

“Is this about Clint?”

“What?” Phil blanched, surprised. “How could you know?”

Steve laughed, patting Phil’s arm sympathetically. “I’ve seen that look in the mirror. It’s the same one that I have all the time when something’s off with Tony.”

Phil took a deep breath. “Yes, well, this problem’s a little…personal.”

“Ah.” Steve stepped over to the counter, pulling out a chair and grabbing two mugs off the wall. “Have a seat. You sure you don’t want tea?”

Phil checked his watch and shrugged. Clint wouldn’t be out of his shame shower for another twenty minutes, at least. “Sure, why not.”

Steve poured the tea into the mugs, wiping up a spill with a red dish cloth and keeping his voice carefully nonchalant. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Clint’s having some…difficulties.” Phil cleared his throat as Steve cocked his head in confusion. “Sexually.”

“Oh.” Steve flushed slightly, but maintained eye contact, much to Phil’s surprise. “So it’s that kind of problem.”

“Steve, if this is going to be uncomfortable for you-”

Steve laughed, waving a hand at Phil and sipping his tea. “Don’t worry about it. I know everyone makes me out to be a 20’s-era prude, but they couldn’t be more wrong. Tony and I have done things that would make even Clint’s kinky toes curl.”

Phil laughed, surprised but reassured. “Okay. That does make this conversation a little easier.” He leaned forward, hands clasped around his cup as he lowered his voice. “Clint is having trouble getting his…soldier to, uh, participate in the battle.”

“Right,” Steve said, nodding along, “And knowing Clint, he’s way too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it, even you.”

“Exactly.” Phil shrugged. “I wanted him to talk to someone at SHIELD, but he flat out refuses. Normally, I would talk to them myself, but this seems-I don’t know. A little too personal, I suppose.”

“I can see why.” Steve smiled reassuringly. “Trust me, if I’d gone to a stranger when Tony had this problem, he would have had me neutered.”

“Tony?” Phil almost spit out his tea. “Tony’s had…soldier issues?”

“Call it what it is, Phil, it’s erectile dysfunction,” Steve replied teasingly. “And yeah. I don’t know a guy who hasn’t. I had it all the damn time before the serum.”

“That’s what I told Clint!” Phil exclaimed. “It happens to everyone. Used to get me down all the time, if you’ll pardon the pun, but that was also because I was a gay man dating a very female woman.”

“Look, Phil,” Steve said, setting down his cup. “I’m going to level with you-aside from popping pills, there’s no reliable cure for limp dick.”

“I don’t mean to get too personal, but how did you and Tony fix his…issue?” Phil asked apologetically.

“Well, Tony couldn’t take any medication for it, what with his history with addiction,” Steve said thoughtfully. “We tried a couple different things-diet changes, workout routines, sexual positions-and nothing really worked until we stumbled upon a…thing.”

“A thing?” Phil asked, confused.

“Tony has a, um…a kink.” Steve was definitely blushing now, his cheeks reddening with every word. “He likes it when I give him praise in bed.”

“I-praise?” Phil said helplessly, not sure that he wanted to know more, but equally fascinated.

“You know, er-” Steve looked down at his mug, rubbing his thumb around the rim, “Calling him a good boy, rewarding him for doing certain things, telling him how good he is at sucking my-”

“Okay, yep, yep, got it,” Phil said abruptly, feeling his own cheeks flame at the thought of his childhood role model doing the dirty with another member of his team.

“Anyways,” Steve said, taking a long sip from his mug to hide his red face, “you might explore some things with Clint. Make a list. Spice it up.”

“Yeah,” Phil said thoughtfully, mind drifting away to the darker corners of his sexual proclivities. “Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks, Steve.”

“No problem.” Steve stood, dumping his mug in the sink. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to head over to Tony’s workshop and see what he’s up to.”

Phil nodded quickly as Steve exited, averting his eyes and trying as hard as he could to avoid looking at the enormous bulge in the good captain’s pants.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hot minute. Good news, though: I'm almost done with my undergrad degree. Then it's on to grad school, and trying to find a job that doesn't make me wanna die. I love being an adult!!!!  
> I'll be updating all of my stories over the next month, so keep an eye out, especially on the Shades of Black and White series.

“Whatcha doing?”

Phil looked up from his notebook as Clint walked in, one towel wrapped around his body and another vigorously scrubbing his wet hair. “Grocery list. I thought I’d pick up some stuff for dinner this week.”

Clint smiled. “Sweet. You know I love your cooking.” He walked over to the dresser and dropped his towel to the floor, bending over to open the bottom drawer. Little Phil leapt at the sight and Phil choked on his own saliva. He looked down at the list in front of him, taking in the first item.

_Bondage_

Phil stood abruptly, blanket falling onto the bed as he came up behind Clint, smoothing a hand over his delectably round behind. “Nice view.”

Clint grinned and straightened up, stepping closer and sliding a hand around Phil’s waist. “Well, you know me. I don’t spend all that time in the gym for a flat ass.”

“Mmm.” Phil groped his boyfriend’s ass for a few moments, before speaking in a voice that he hoped was seductive but was likely more on the hesitant side. “Hey, have you ever thought about trying something…new?”

“Something new?” Clint questioned, turning to face Phil. “Is this your way of breaking up with me?”

“No! God, no,” Phil said quickly, laughing nervously as Clint stared at him in confusion. “I mean, sexually.”

“You know I’m always down for sexual adventures,” Clint said teasingly. His eyes narrowed. “At least, I am until little Clint decides I’m not.”

Phil leaned in close, one hand on Clint’s ass and the other trailing down his chest, bumping a nipple on its’ way down. “What if I threw you on that bed and, uh…tied you up?”

Clint raised both eyebrows. “Seriously? Bondage?”

“I don’t know,” Phil said, backing away slightly as embarrassment crept up his spine. “I just thought maybe it might be sexy?”

“Hey, no, no, don’t pull away, baby,” Clint said quickly, grabbing Phil and pulling him back. “I think it could be sexy. Really, really sexy. But we both know that I have a complicated history with being restrained.”

“Well, we’d definitely have a safeword,” Phil said, his hand sliding down over Clint’s hip as his cock stirred against Phil’s thigh. So far, so good. “And I’d only do what you allow me to. The bonds are just a restraint on your physical form, not on your ability to give consent.”

Clint let out a heavy breath. “God, I love it when you talk professional to me.” He leaned in abruptly, capturing Phil’s mouth in a heated kiss. He pressed his forehead to Phil’s, pulling his tongue away as a filthy grin covered his face. “But you know what I’d find even sexier?”

“Hmm?” Phil murmured, entranced by the feeling of Clint’s hand sliding down the front of his jeans.

Clint leaned forward until his mouth was level with Phil’s ear, and he tugged on Phil’s earlobe with his teeth before whispering in a low voice. “If you’d let me tie you to a chair and ride you.”

Phil felt a shiver run down his spine as Clint backed him towards his desk. “Yes. Jesus, yes.”

Clint licked up the side of his neck and shoved him down to sit in the chair, grabbing onto his loosened tie that Phil hadn’t removed after getting home from SHIELD that evening. “Stay.”

Phil felt like his pants might just burst open as he watched Clint’s ass swing as he walked towards the bureau, retrieving rope and some other items. The bottom drawer of their dresser was dedicated mainly to safety equipment and tools in case of a break-in—but now, it would have an entirely different purpose.

Clint headed back towards Phil, drawing the length of rope taught in his hands before kneeling in front of Phil, eyes wide and dark as he leaned forward, hovering over the bulge in Phil’s pants. He brought the rope up, drawing it underneath Phil’s leg, before suddenly pulling it taught against the back of his knee.

Phil didn’t have a single moment to stop himself before his knee went crashing up into Clint’s nose. Clint tumbled backwards, a shocked expression on his face.

“Clint!” Phil yelled as his husband let out an indignant yelp. “Oh, fuck!”

“M’fine,” Clint said thickly as he spat a mouthful of blood onto the floor. “Jus’ bit m’cheek.”

Phil helped him sit up, concern written on his face. “Clint, I am so sorry, sweetheart-”

“S’okay, baby.” Clint chuckled, wiping blood off of his lips with the back of his hand. “Should’ve known be’er than to try n’tie up a SHIELD agen’.”

………………

“So bondage was, admittedly, a bit of a bust.” Phil looked over at Clint, who was lying with half his face on the softest pillow they could find, the other half covered by a large, cloth-covered ice pack.

“Yeah.” Clint said softly, wincing as the ice pack shifted. “Don’t get me wrong, watching you get all hot and desperate was such a fucking turn on. I’d be down to try it again. Just maybe without the element of restraint.” He laughed, closing his eyes momentarily. “I think that’s gonna be a little hard for either of us to be okay with.”

“Oh, definitely,” Phil said, grinning. “But…I do have some other ideas. That might have a little less of a risk factor.”

“I mean, I don’t object to a risk factor,” Clint admitted, wiggling his eyebrows and wincing a little when the movement jarred his cheek. “I like a little sexy punishment as much as the next guy.”

“Good to know,” Phil said with a wink, blushing as images rose unbidden in his mind of all the things he’d like to do to Clint’s body. “But I think we started a little too big. Maybe…” he smirked. “Maybe we should get back to basics.”

Clint frowned, confused. “Basics? I don’t-oh. Mmm. Phil…”

Phil had worked his way down between Clint’s legs and was now nuzzling his crotch with his face, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes. “Yes, Clint?”

“I don’t-oh-I don’t know, Phil,” Clint said doubtfully as his husband pulled his cock from his pajama pants. It was half-hard already. “The last time we did this, I-”

“Don’t dwell on the past,” Phil admonished, licking around the tip of Clint’s cock and eliciting a groan from him. “Let’s just look to the future instead. Like a future where I suck you off and you come all over my face.”

“Jesus, Phil,” Clint groaned as Phil sucked vigorously at the head. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing,” Phil said teasingly. “I just want to make sure my husband is happy.”

Clint frowned slightly. “Phil, you know that I-fuck!”

Phil abruptly deep throated Clint’s cock, sucking him to full hardness as the head of it hit the middle of his throat. Clint whined, trying desperately to keep his hips still. “Phil…Phil, oh my god, Philphilphil…”

“Mmmm,” Phil moaned around his cock, and grabbed Clint’s hands, setting them on the back of his head and pushing. Clint scraped his bare scalp with close-cut nails, moaning as he began to fuck Phil’s mouth in earnest. Phil held back his gag reflex, reaching a free hand down to rub the front of his own trousers.

“Phil…agh, fuck!” Clint yelled, almost too loudly, gasping as Phil pulled off and flicked his tongue along the underside, before whispering, “Phil…Phil, shit, I think I’m gonna-”

Clint came, hard, just as the door to their room slammed open to reveal Natasha and Bruce, armed with three knives and a noodle-filled wok, respectively.

An awkward silence filled the room for several moments before Phil looked up at the two heroes frozen in the doorway, his face beet red and covered with Clint’s sticky white come. “Natasha. Bruce. Would you mind coming back another time? This isn’t the most convenient moment.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Bruce stuttered, dropping his noodles and wok onto the ground with a hollow thump. “We thought-”

“We thought we heard Clint calling for help, but we were…obviously mistaken.” Natasha’s face was just as red as Phil’s. She stood frozen for a few more moments, before grabbing Bruce’s arm and running out, slamming the door shut behind her.

After a few moments of staring at the ceiling in embarrassment, Clint sat up. “Phil? You all right, baby?”

“I don’t think that Natasha will ever listen to me again,” Phil said in a matter-of-fact voice.

“Course she will,” Clint said reassuringly.

“Clint, she just walked in on her boss with his face covered in her best friend and coworker’s ejaculate,” Phil said, raising his eyebrows and smirking slightly. “Trust me, it’s going to be awhile before she’ll take me seriously.”

“Yeah, maybe you have a point,” Clint said, stretching and yawning with a smile on his face.

“But Clint…” Phil said, then pointed to his face and grinned. “You did it.”

“Fuck yeah I did!” Clint said, punching the air. “I fucking held an erection and came on my husband’s face!”

“Mmm-maybe not so loud, love,” Phil said quickly. “I don’t need the rest of the Avengers to see me covered in you.” He chuckled, overwhelming relief surging through his system. “Two was more than enough.”


End file.
